tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-349624342024-03-23T11:09:11.856-07:00Very Typical... The very thoughts that can cross a young mind.
<a href="http://technorati.com/faves?sub=addfavbtn&add=http://kaylankar.blogspot.com"><img src="http://static.technorati.com/pix/fave/btn-fave2.png" alt="Add to Technorati Favorites" /></a>Kayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01906709355088280634noreply@blogger.comBlogger61125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34962434.post-6067496059764135342008-04-22T11:35:00.001-07:002008-04-22T11:35:20.193-07:00arguement of the day....<span id="ctl00_cpMain_BulletinPost_BodyRO_Textbox">I now hate Einstein...<br />for being a man whore<br />like almost every other guy on this earth<br />I don't care if hes a "Great mind", he's not a great person in my mind.<br /><br />source of him being a man whore: nate.<br /><br />I blame him for my newly found hate, whether or not it's true or false.<br /><br /><br /><br />I also... Do not hate burger king because they dye their tomatoes a brighter red.<br /><br />In fact, i'm not even sure they do or not.<br /><br />But to be able to charge $1 for a whopper junior and have some nice looking tomatoes on there... they must be dyed.<br /><br />Just to clear the air.<br /><br /><br /><br />happy earth day.<br /><br />Plant a tree or something lame like that.<br /><br />The end.<br /><br /><br /><br />p.s. if u can't tell today sucks balls.</span>Kayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01906709355088280634noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34962434.post-74489218734013608452008-04-17T10:50:00.002-07:002008-04-17T10:57:07.936-07:00waiting...Sitting in the engineering and mathematical sciences building right now.<br />Bored, I wish more people would see this blog.<br />Oh well, patience I guess.<br /><br />I don't have to work with prisoners tomorrow Whooo hoo! yay!<br /><br />Why don't i seriously have anything good to write anymore?!<br />My brain is fried from...... Ugh nothing comes to mind.<br />Perhaps because it's deep fried, McDonald's style.<br />No good thoughts come to mind anymore.<br />Maybe they do, but atleast not when i need them to, like right now.<br /><br />I need a new job, Piggly Wiggly sucks cock 24x7.<br />I would like a quiet job, not too high pace.<br />But thats the kind of job that a 19 year olf works, while our minds are still fresh and able to be placed in hectic situations.<br />I think i've aged faster than everyone else in that aspect, i don't enjoy that kind of lifestyle.<br /><br />Also, im severly dyslexic when it comes to this post. I've had to click backspace more times than i have in my entire life due to spelling things backwards.<br />Who isn't dyslexic though, we all show those traits everyonce in a while.<br />I like to freak out about them just as much as the other psychos do.<br /><br />well this is good for now,<br />I'm happy with this post.<br /><br /><3-KayKayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01906709355088280634noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34962434.post-64545423458321533412008-04-16T06:09:00.005-07:002008-04-16T06:12:16.027-07:00alive & awake...My thoughts woke me up this morning at 7.<br />I'm in a "I want to conquer the world" kind of mood. I wonder how long it will last.<br />I need to find a new job so i'm going to go on a hunt.<br />I also have a to write a story<br />bake a cake<br />read a book<br />do dishes<br />play tennis<br />...all in one day<br />Apparently those around me think im some sort of super woman.<br />only because i am.<br /><br />Cynthia's birthday is today.<br /><br />Nate is still asleep.<br />i love him.<br /><br />Vh1 is still playing their music videos, that means its ultra early.<br /><br />The weather should be beautiful today.<br />squee!!<br /><br />well im outty loves.Kayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01906709355088280634noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34962434.post-41852948609347730242008-04-15T20:13:00.002-07:002008-04-15T20:25:31.826-07:00It's that time of the year.Summer is almost here, today it was about 60 but still rather chilly.<br />I didn't bring a jacket to school, im a genius i know.<br />And being that im cold blooded i died twice and shat my pants multiple times.<br /><br />shat pants=bad<br />peed my pants= very good!!<br /><br />anyways im ultra excited about riding around on the bicycle.<br />and going to the sand dunes<br />and running around in a swimsuit... once i get skinny again.<br /><br />I want icecream.<br /><br />I have no deep philosophical theories or thoughts at the moment.<br />I hate brain farts.<br />I haven't thought of anything worth while in a long time<br />& rap seems to be a constant audio out of my speakers<br />I think something is wrong with me.<br />what isn't though?<br />That isn't who i am though.<br />I like meaningful music and artsy fartsy interesting things<br />I'm not any typical girl<br />or perhaps i just don't want to see myself as that so i try to convince myself im not.<br />I'm typical?!<br /><br />Neva!<br /><br />!!!!<br /><br />good night.Kayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01906709355088280634noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34962434.post-25777443482129250742008-04-14T13:13:00.002-07:002008-04-14T13:17:01.825-07:00return of the horse girl....I'm such a reality T.V. junkie<br />It's not even funny.<br /><br />My favorite is rock of love<br />& now that ambre won i don't know what i'll do.<br /><br />flavor love just doesn't cut it for me<br /><br />I guess shot at love premieres on the 22nd so all will be well.<br /><br />I would rather watch reality tv then anything else.<br /><br />blah<br />I just at mcdonalds.<br />EW.... i need to stop<br /><br />I think erika and i are going to go on a massive diet this summer. although i need to be a responable size before summer if i'm going to be wearing shorts and tank tops.<br />I hate ym stomach and my flabby arms.<br />I'm a whale of a whale.<br /><br />it's beautiful out and im sitting in the apartment doing nothing. Well watching reality tv and and thinking about going outside<br />i need to wait for nate to come home<br />i might go and play tennis<br />i do miss it<br />it's still a little chilly out.<br /><br />blah i'll post more laterKayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01906709355088280634noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34962434.post-19336288121577792872008-04-10T11:31:00.002-07:002008-04-10T11:34:16.532-07:00i think i must...I might have to start typing in here once again.<br />I go through spurts.<br />Humans are animals of habit<br />is that the quote?!?<br /><br />anyways, i find myself posting more random ass bullitens as myspace which would double nicely as blogs.<br />When im 40 i might like to read these damn things too.<br /><br />Well.<br />married to the sea has been my muse so far today.<br />The rain ruins my life on every level possible.<br /><br />I might work this weekend which also kills but, but no word from cyndi<br /><br />so im going to drink hot chocolate and then go to sams<br />no oakland gyros today... i don't think so atleast.<br /><br />School is lame.<br />Only 2 more classes left today and i'm done for the week.<br />I have to work with prisoners tomorrow. Last day<br />horrah<br /><br />well im outty to do homework<br />& drink that hot chocolate.<br /><br />p.s.- i refuse to do dishes that aren't mine.Kayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01906709355088280634noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34962434.post-10386436448309574332007-11-08T19:26:00.000-08:002007-11-08T19:27:43.120-08:00Big sex and coke parties!i guess i sometimes make big deals out of nothing.<br /><br />I need some good advice once in a while though.<br />And it's hard to find someone to give it.<br /><br />blah!Kayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01906709355088280634noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34962434.post-63281859452784858222007-07-25T22:24:00.000-07:002007-07-25T22:25:48.145-07:00i feelfucking great.<br />i hopemy life never changes<br />atleast the person who makes my life fucking great.<br />i really am truly lucky as all hell.<br />night makes my day.<br />full of smiles and giggles<br />and i love every second of it.Kayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01906709355088280634noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34962434.post-31476935788762969982007-07-22T22:56:00.000-07:002007-07-22T22:58:02.412-07:00tohold on2your my somebody<br />and i'm yours<br /><br />.... until forever ends.Kayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01906709355088280634noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34962434.post-57131892517370793712007-05-31T11:24:00.000-07:002007-05-31T11:25:18.157-07:00everything's O.K. in it's own little way"if a picture's worth a thousand words, i'll paint a thousand pictures to symbolize the decibel levels bred of a thousand whispers."<br /><br />....Kayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01906709355088280634noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34962434.post-79069295622304610052007-05-06T18:05:00.000-07:002007-05-06T18:06:12.400-07:00colliding with you. and i love it<span style="font-family:Verdana;font-size:180%;"><span style="font-size:85%;"><br />The dawn is breaking<br />A light shining through<br />You're barely waking<br />And I'm tangled up in you<br />Yeah<br /><br />I'm open, you're closed<br />Where I follow, you'll go<br />I worry I won't see your face<br />Light up again<br /><br />Even the best fall down sometimes<br />Even the wrong words seem to rhyme<br />Out of the doubt that fills my mind<br />I somehow find<br />You and I collide<br /><br />I'm quiet you know<br />You make a first impression<br />I've found I'm scared to know I'm always on your mind<br /><br />Even the best fall down sometimes<br />Even the stars refuse to shine<br />Out of the back you fall in time<br />I somehow find<br />You and I collide<br /><br />Don't stop here<br />I lost my place<br />I'm close behind<br /><br />Even the best fall down sometimes<br />Even the wrong words seem to rhyme<br />Out of the doubt that fills your mind<br />You finally find<br />You and I collide<br /><br />You finally find<br />You and I collide<br />You finally find<br />You and I collide</span></span>Kayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01906709355088280634noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34962434.post-14081271741898628262007-04-23T19:13:00.001-07:002007-04-23T19:13:33.032-07:00vulnerableShare with me the blankets that your wrapped in<br />because its cold outside cold outside its cold out side<br />share with me the secrets that you kept in<br />because its cold inside cold inside its cold inside<br /><br />and your slowly shaking finger tips<br />show that your scared like me so<br />let pretend were alone<br />and I no you may be scared<br />and I no were unprepared<br />but I dont care<br /><br />tell me tell me<br />what makes you think that you are invincible<br />I can see it in your eyes that your so sure<br />please dont tell me that I am the only one thats vulnerable<br />impossible<br /><br />I was born to tell you I love you<br />its that a song already<br />I get a B in originality<br />and its true I cant go on without you<br />your smile makes me see clear<br />if you could only see in the mirror what I see<br /><br />and your slowly shaking finger tips<br />show that your scared like me so<br />let pretend were alone<br />and I no you may be scared<br />and I no were unprepared<br />but I dont care<br /><br />tell me tell me<br />what makes you think that you are invincible<br />I can see it in your eyes that your so sure<br />please dont tell me that I am the only one thats vulnerable<br />impossible<br /><br />slow down girl your not going any wear<br />just wait around and see<br />maybe I am much more you never no what lies ahead<br />I promise I can be anyone I can be anything<br />just because you were hurt doesnt mean you shouldnt bleed<br />I can be anyone anything I promise I can be what you need<br /><br />tell me tell me<br />what makes you think that you are invincible<br />I can see it in your eyes that your so sure<br />please dont tell me that I am the only one thats vulnerable<br />impossibleKayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01906709355088280634noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34962434.post-28867566493483740922007-04-09T18:55:00.000-07:002007-04-09T19:04:03.259-07:00a sticky situationi don't know if anyone can relate to this.<br />If you can empathize.. then good.<br />If you can't... then be glad.<br /><br />I love someone.<br />I hate drugs.<br /><br />I don't want that someone to be doing drugs.<br />drugs have hurt me in the past<br />and they scare me.<br />more than ever<br />I don't EVER want that type of hurt i received before be repeated.<br /><br />I don't think that this someone who i love would ever hurt me.<br />But i can't help to have some doubt.<br />It'd not a bad thing to have doubt.<br />Everyone has it.<br />But i don't want to loose this person.<br /><br />I don't think they want to loose me either.<br />At least that's what they say.<br />And i believe their words.<br />more than anyone else.<br /><br />so i trust them.<br />with my heart.<br />But i was scared.<br />I'm a drama queen.<br />But i love them.<br />i was scared.<br /><br /><br /><br />please don't ever hurt me.<br />or scare me.<br />just tell me.<br />I'll understand<br />I love you.Kayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01906709355088280634noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34962434.post-31882559186225093312007-03-28T16:47:00.000-07:002007-03-28T16:48:11.475-07:00It goes something like this:<small><br />And <span style="font-style: italic;">I wonder</span><br />When I sing along with you<br />If everything could ever feel this real forever<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"> If anything could ever be this good again</span><br />The only thing I'll ever ask of you<br />You've got to promise not to stop when I say when<br /><br /><br />Breathe out<br />So I can <span style="font-style: italic;">breathe you in</span><br />Hold you in</small>Kayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01906709355088280634noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34962434.post-64646284328936585852007-03-14T13:15:00.000-07:002007-03-14T13:16:07.169-07:00wow... this song was made for ME!Amy says she's all alone,<br />Says the world doesn't even know<br />About the pain she hides inside<br />Says happiness is just a lie<br /><br />Smell the roses throw them down<br />Just whisper, don't make a sound<br />Don't want the world to know the truth<br />You've been broken and abused... by you<br /><br />Amy says<br />"I see you laughing at the rain that hits your face<br />With your arms stretched open soaking in the love<br />In a world I find so hard you find so beautiful<br />There's a hope in you deep inside for me."<br /><br />The colors of her mind<br />Bleed into each other<br />And as the morning melts the night<br />And the stars enchant another<br /><br />While her eyes are still held shut<br />She can hear you breathing softly<br />Your words echo in her mind<br />And your words are clear<br />And she knows that you are here<br /><br />You're here<br />I see her laughing at the rain that hits her face<br />With her arms stretched open soaking in the love<br />In a world she found so hard she finds so beautiful<br />There's a hope in her deep inside for you<br /><br /><br /><br />.... it makes me happy.<br />just like.....Kayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01906709355088280634noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34962434.post-1342141911899656692007-03-13T19:54:00.000-07:002007-03-13T19:55:20.839-07:00SJKHFDJKHGKDsometimes i can't think straight cause im so GOD damn happy.<br />My brain goes to mush and all i'm capable of doing is simple smiling.<br /><br />GOD DAMN I LOVE MY LIFE!!!!!Kayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01906709355088280634noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34962434.post-16964032452372818962007-03-12T16:51:00.000-07:002007-03-12T16:52:14.167-07:00"there for you"- Flyleaf<span style="font-family:Verdana;font-size:180%;"><span style="font-size:85%;"> Sometimes I'm selfish fake<br />You're always a true friend<br />And I don't deserve you<br />'Cause I'm not there for you<br />Please forgive me again<br /><br />I wanna be there for you<br />Someone you can come to<br />Runs deeper than my bones<br />I wanna be there for you<br />I wanna be there for you<br /><br />Swirling shades of blue<br />Slow dancing in your eyes<br />Sun kisses the earth<br />And I hush my urge to cry, cry<br /><br />I wanna be there for you<br />Someone you can come to<br />Runs deeper than my bones<br />I wanna be there for you<br />I wanna be there for you<br /><br />'Cause I hear the whispered words<br />In your masterpiece beautiful<br />You speak the unspeakable through<br />I love you too<br /><br />I wanna be there for you<br />Someone you can come to<br /><br />I wanna be there for you<br />And be someone you can come to<br />The love runs deeper than my bones<br />I wanna be there for you<br /><br />...<br />this song holds a lot of meaning to me.<br />:/<br />i'm not so sure about the feelings from it.<br />Old and new.<br /></span></span>Kayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01906709355088280634noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34962434.post-35912805539446882482007-03-08T06:28:00.000-08:002007-03-08T06:47:31.353-08:00blah blahat school, what a tool.Kayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01906709355088280634noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34962434.post-79330401754660899312007-03-04T13:24:00.000-08:002007-03-04T14:00:02.633-08:00a little bit of everythingMan I'm complex.<br />Not to say that I am the only one<br />because just the fact that we are humans makes us far more complex to say that we are not "complex" technically.<br />Mentally & physically, we are all too complex for a majority of us to even realize.<br />Ignorance is bliss?<br /><br />I have the best of friends ever.<br />There is no sarcasm behind that statement what so ever.<br />& indeed, it is all fact.<br />In a sense I don't really deserve them.<br />no, I'm not fishing for compliments what so ever.<br />but it is true.<br />Really, I am grateful that I have them.<br />Thank you!<br /><br />I hate the feeling of a wasted day.<br />I was sitting at home and realized that I really, really extremely hate sitting at home in my sweat pants doing nothing.<br />I can easily sit around with people i enjoy being around, but by myself can be depressing.<br />especially if there is no sun.<br />The sun was out today.<br />I stood in front of the window where the light was shining threw and it felt great.<br />I miss that kind of warmth, something non artificial.<br />I can't wait for summer, but most of all i can't wait for college this fall.<br />Oh the freedom.<br />I just want some freedom.<br />from lies, from parents.... from pretty much my whole life in general right now.<br />I'm so sick of Racine<br />I'm sick of st. cats also.<br />There is only a dozen or so kids that I can put up with at school.<br />Other than that, I don't give a flying shit about the other's lives.<br /><br /><br />Also, I was thinking & i really don't like drugs.<br />Now I'm going to be hypocritical but I have some logic behind this.<br />If I do drugs, then I like them & approve, but if someone I care about does them, I get upset.<br />I have control of myself and my future but I have no control over someone else's future and I don't ever REALLY know the truth of what's going on in their minds.<br />I'm a "glass half empty" kinda person at times & when it comes to drugs, that is one of those times.<br />I've been hurt before by drugs.<br />Had promises made to me concerning the end of drug usage.<br />But in the end, those promises meant nothing and the drugs were chosen over me.<br />They knew it was the wrong choice & that they're new friends were only there for the drugs also, but they still proved to me more important than me.<br />They knew that once that choice was made, things would never fully be the same.<br />I had no control over that situation; although, I tried so very hard to gain some control but one person can't do everything.<br />But that time, place, and memory mean nothing to me now,<br />just the fact that I hate drugs.<br />I don't have much to worry about now (at least i hope not), it's just a realization.<br /><br />I push those away who originally push me away to help me.<br />hm... how to explain this... :/<br />well, they push me away because they don't want me to get hurt.<br />They expect that I'll be there in the end to come back to them.<br />But in my mind, I want to go threw the transition of what ever they are going through with them.<br />I want to be there and be able to help support them.<br />But then alas, when they try to regain what ever was had before, I want nothing to do with them.<br />That's just another realization.<br />I don't want that sort of thing to happen again.<br />& I don't expect it to happen.<br /><br />I've said it before,<br />I'll repeat it many more times.<br />I am truly happy at this point in my life,<br />with everyone & everything in it.<br />Thank you, once again.<br />I look forward to the future though too.<br />A future that is just, if not more, equally happy<br />with those who are part of my life now and hopefully others who I meet on the way.<br /><br />that is all I can think up at the moment.Kayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01906709355088280634noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34962434.post-70275472528911554592007-02-28T15:28:00.000-08:002007-02-28T15:32:42.846-08:00Ghetto crownin' with a ghetto hat<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.marriedtothesea.com/022807/ghetto-soup.gif"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 400px;" src="http://www.marriedtothesea.com/022807/ghetto-soup.gif" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /> Today was a good day.<br />I liked it.<br />I hope you liked your day.<br />As if our days are separate things.<br />They really aren't though.<br />hum, another weird observation by me.<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Score-</span><br />me:n+1<br />you:nothing<br />....I win.<br /><br />Goodnight computer.Kayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01906709355088280634noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34962434.post-14083895682197077702007-02-27T17:56:00.000-08:002007-02-27T17:57:31.280-08:00Definition of my feelings:<span class="std_font"><br />These nights I get high just from breathing.<br />When I lie here with you I'm sure that I'm real,<br />like that firework over the freeway.<br /><br />-"Walking By" something corporate<br /></span>Kayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01906709355088280634noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34962434.post-1879779178859066682007-02-23T21:25:00.000-08:002007-02-23T21:46:18.252-08:00"Have you ever loved?"I was asked this question about a week ago & then was further reminded of it today.<br />In my own head I came to a final conclusion.<br />Of course when 1st asked this question, I blurted out "I don't know" with out even actually thinking like I should have.<br />That is what the one who asked me it was expecting...<br />an answer filled with thought and meaning.<br />I'm sorry.<br />I do that because I'm scared of what the other person might think of what I say or do.<br />My self confidence was close to empty.<br />"I have to test the waters 1st".<br /><br />Anyways, the answer that I should have given was:<br />"I once thought I was"<br />And truely, I did think I was.<br />And although at that time,<br />last year,<br />I was then too, not able to express deep feelings very well.<br />I thought I loved that person and that what we had was love.<br />I didn't know what love was though, so I coupled it with infatuation.<br />But pushing, punching, screaming, and making someone feel like they have no meaning... is not love.<br />Tough love is not even the right description of it.<br />I learned that the hard way unfortunately.<br />Emotionally & physically.<br />I'm a very emotional person,<br />I have to hold back tears a lot.<br />From what I perceive, people don't notice that though.<br />So naturally a over the top, disfuntional relationship takes time to recover from.<br />But i will recover over time.<br />In fact I am for the most part over it all.<br />But it this situation I'm in now,<br />I am too happy with it.<br />It gives my life more meaning.<br />A natural High.<br />Something to look forward to.<br />In short, I am happy.<br />But also... I am sceptical.<br />Not of the other person, but of myself.<br />That somewhere down the line I will mess up, and that the other person will think I'm "psycho" in other words.<br />I am afraid.<br />I really am.<br />I don't want to feel as bad as I did before.<br />I don't think I will though.<br />But the worse is always in the back of my mind.<br />Feeding on my happiness like a tumor.<br />But not destroying it the least.<br /><br />Really in the end.<br />I feel the same as that person.<br />I just can't voice it properly.<br />Atleast, not like they can.<br />I have my complexes.<br />And I hate them<br />I hate the way they make me and how they disable me<br />I think I will eventually overcome them,<br />others have tried in the past but obviously not hard enough.<br />I really just want to be able to say everything that I feel with out being so self conscious of my words.<br /><br />In the end,<br />If I could say something to the present moment's situation and all that deals with it, I would most likely say something relatively close to:<br />"I love my life. I haven't been this happy for ever, and I don't want this feeling to ever decrease or disappear. EVER."<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />you.<br />catch me.<br />cause I'm....Kayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01906709355088280634noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34962434.post-81868368538715954572007-02-22T19:04:00.000-08:002007-02-22T19:06:23.836-08:00Jack's Mannequinpart's of miss delaney that make me happy.<br />pretty much i took out all the depressing parts where he can't get the girl<br /><br />------------------<br />Finally, I'm letting go<br /> Of all my downer thoughts<br /> In no time there'll be<br /> One less sad robot<br /> Looking for a chance to be<br /> Something more than just metal<br /><br /> Finally I've found someone<br />To duel this lonely sea<br />I don't spend my nights<br />Searching for earthquakes<br /><br />----------------<br />Ya i know it's not a lot.<br />BUT it's enough.<br />i have nothing else to say besides the fact that I'm happy.<br />:DKayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01906709355088280634noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34962434.post-1140969258975939052007-02-18T18:03:00.000-08:002007-02-18T19:10:40.517-08:00Another copy & paste."The more things change, the more they stay the same. I'm not sure who the first person was who said that. Probably Shakespeare. Or maybe Sting. But at the moment, it's the sentence that best explains my tragic flaw: my inability to change. I don't think I'm alone in this. The more I get to know other people, the more I realize it's kind of everyone's flaw. Staying exactly the same for as long as possible, standing perfectly still... It feels better somehow. And if you are suffering, at least the pain is familiar. Because if you took that leap of faith, went outside the box, did something unexpected... Who knows what other pain might be waiting out there. Chances are it could be even worse. So you maintain the status quo. Choose the road already traveled and it doesn't seem that bad. Not as far as flaws go. You're not a drug addict. You're not killing anyone... Except maybe yourself a little. When we finally do change, I don't think it happens like an earthquake or an explosion, where all of a sudden we're like this different person. I think it's smaller than that. The kind of thing most people wouldn't even notice unless they looked at us really, really close. Which, thank God, they never do. But you notice it. Inside you that change feels like a world of difference. And you hope this is it. This is the person you get to be forever... that you'll never have to change again." -My Tragic Flaw by Ephram Brown (everwood)<br /><br /><br />& also:<br />"you've made me, me, for the longest time, and before we exsisted, you created part's of me i'll never see, but they were there, and they used to be alive, but it's my fault"Kayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01906709355088280634noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34962434.post-13992546662256776462007-02-17T19:58:00.000-08:002007-02-17T20:02:11.773-08:00Ted Hughes "Lovesong"He loved her and she loved him.<br />His kisses sucked out her whole past and future or tried to<br />He had no other appetite<br />She bit him she gnawed him she sucked<br />She wanted him complete inside her<br />Safe and sure forever and ever<br />Their little cries fluttered into the curtains<br />Her eyes wanted nothing to get away<br />Her looks nailed down his hands<br />his wrists<br />his elbows<br />He gripped her hard so that life<br />Should not drag her from that moment<br />He wanted all future to cease<br />He wanted to topple with his arms round her<br />Off that moment's brink and into nothing<br />Or everlasting or whatever there was<br />Her embrace was an immense press<br />To print him into her bones<br />His smiles were the garrets of a fairy palace<br />Where the real world would never come<br />Her smiles were spider bites<br />So he would lie still till she felt hungry<br />His words were occupying armies<br />Her laughs were an assassin's attempts<br />His looks were bullets daggers of revenge<br />His glances were ghosts in the corner with horrible secrets<br />His whispers were whips and jackboots<br />Her kisses were lawyers steadily writing<br />His caresses were the last hooks of a castaway<br />Her love-tricks were the grinding of locks<br />And their deep cries crawled over the floors<br />Like an animal dragging a great trap<br />His promises were the surgeon's gag<br />Her promises took the top off his skull<br />She would get a brooch made of it<br />His vows pulled out all her sinews<br />He showed her how to make a love-knot<br />Her vows put his eyes in formalin<br />At the back of her secret drawer<br />Their screams stuck in the wall<br />Their heads fell apart into sleep like the two halves<br />Of a lopped melon, but love is hard to stop<br />In their entwined sleep they exchanged arms and legs<br />In their dreams their brains took each other hostage<br />In the morning they wore each other's faceKayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01906709355088280634noreply@blogger.com0